The past few weeks have been trying for JMT and I. He has been involved in a very time consuming and frustrating project at work, and I seem to be spending more nights in work-related meetings than before. The juggling act that this has forced us into has been a hard one to master. Thankfully, being close to our parents has meant that we can enlist their help fairly often. We’ve worked out a routine on the night’s that JMT is on his own, in which one or the other grandma comes over before we arrive home and gets dinner started, and then helps him get the kids fed, bathed and to bed. He still hasn’t had a full night on his own with both kids—something he is very thankful and appreciative about.
While I’ve used my mom’s help on a number of occasions, I’ve been finding an odd sense of satisfaction running the night-time routine on my own on the nights that JMT works late. I’m not as conflicted this time around about striking the balance between working and staying home with the kids—I’ve made peace with being a working mom. But sometimes I miss doing “mom things” like making the family dinner and finger-painting with Emma before bath-time. Owning the nighttime routine from start to finish is like making up for those lost moments. And after those first few weeks of being a mom of two, when I couldn’t fathom juggling two at once with no help, I’ve begun to develop a rhythm.
Here’s how the night goes: Off work between 5 an 5:30. Kids picked up from daycare by 6. Pick up takeout (from a place with a drivethru) on the way home or make a simple dinner (like scrambled eggs and applesauce or pasta with meatsauce). Feed the dogs and let them romp in the yard for a while. Nurse Leo while Emma eats and then scarf down some dinner of my own. Lay Leo down in his crib to be entertained by the musical aquarium while I give Emma a bath. Rock Emma and give her a last cup of milk while we sing our nightly prayers. Then take Leo downstairs for one last round of snacks while I read or watch a little TV. Put Leo down to bed, wash dishes and make the bottles for tomorrow. Then go to bed. Somehow I’m able to do all that and be in bed by 9:30 myself. Strangely, that whole routine takes less time when I’m alone than when JMT is home—I guess because I’m not taking any time for adult conversation or watching our shows.
As much as I miss having him around—and I DO miss having him around!—it’s been nice to find out that I can take care of my family on my own. So much of being a parent is managing and positively channeling anxiety. To not be anxious about whether or not I can manage my family’s nighttime routine is a huge gain in that regard. Not that I’m not plenty anxious about other stuff… like out cross-country plane trip with two kiddos tomorrow… but that’s another story entirely…
In other news, Leo has joined the ranks of the mobile. He can roll from front to back and back to front now, and he can rotate around on the floor a full 360 degrees. Being able to motor around a little bit has made him an even happier baby, and it is a joy to watch him explore his toys with the joy that only a new baby can show.
