Black and White

The last time I posted a photo of this girl, she was a baby.  Now she has her drivers license.

Well, almost.

And there is nothing I can say about this one that the photo doesn't say for itself.  Except, "Wow."

Big grown up boy

Eating lunch this Sunday afternoon on the patio at Panera.  He knows when his picture is being taken, and gives this big grin for the camera each time.

Cup-tastrophe!

Sometimes when you have two kids under two, and two parents who work full-time outside the home, this happens.

The funny bit is—the sink was completely empty, polished and disinfected Wednesday afternoon. This photo was taken Friday morning before 8.

Apparently we have thirsty kids.

Brown Eyed Girl

For the past 22 months, Emma's true eyecolor has been a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.  She was born with grey-ish, blue-ish eyes, and over time that color morphed into something a little more golden and greeny, but still difficult to define.  Very recently, they are taking on a true brown hue.  I'm so pleased, as JMT's eyes are the color of dark chocolate, and I always hoped our kids would share that trait with him.

Leo's eyes are changing much faster, and look like they will be brown as well.  Unfortunately, there isn't a catchy song title to go with that.

These are some photos from our recent trip to Colorado.  The whole botched family portrait attempt can be viewed here.

One more photo before I go to bed

Emma, at the zoo on my birthday.  Just seconds after this, the goat she was talking to reached forward and kissed her on the lips.  To which she wagged a finger violently and replied, "No, no, no!"

Standard Operating Procedure

After Emma was born, I wrote a lengthy account of her birth--both for my personal diary keeping purposes, and to help me work through the mixed emotions I was having about things not going according to plan.

To be fair, I feel like I should account for Leo's birth as well.  I'd hate for 12 year old Emma to lord over 11 year old Leo that mama loves her more and she knows it's true because mama wrote an essay about how she was born, and didn't write one about him.  I know that's ridiculous, but I've played the scene in my mind a dozen times already.  They'll fight about enough without my adding literary imbalances to the mix.

So where did Leo come from...  The story is actually a little interesting, in that I had some last minute issues with my blood pressure that could have potentially become dangerous for one or both of us.  Throughout my entire pregnancy with Emma (and my normal, non-pregnant life), my blood pressure was nice and low.  In the 90 over 65-ish range.  Always has been.  Then on the day of my scheduled induction with Emma, it had jumped up to "high".  Can't remember the exact reading, but I recall my OB indicating that if I hadn't already been scheduled to induce, my BP was high enough that she would have recommended it.

I never thought much about that blip in my blood pressure trend during my pregnancy with Leo, until I went in to see my Ohio OB at about my 36 week appointment.  After almost an entire pregnancy with low blood pressure, mine was starting to rise.  At 36 weeks, it was still within the high end of the 'normal' range, but at 37 weeks, it was high enough for the doc to tell me to stop working and order some blood tests.  I ended up having two rounds of bloodwork that showed that my liver enzymes were elevated and my platelet count had dropped by more than half.  Being a good reader of the pregnancy blogs, I was educated about pre-eclampsia and HELLP, and was worried that Leo might not be okay.  After the second round of bloodwork, my OB pushed up the date for my scheduled C-section so that he could get Leo out before things got any worse.  According to the doc, I was still okay (although I did see stars every time I moved my head and I was swollen to the point of craziness), but my condition could go from okay to dangerous in no time at all and there was no need to wait to see if that would happen.

So, on March 24, nine days before his scheduled due date, Leo was born.  A scheduled C-section is SO much less dramatic than an emergency C, and my recovery was a lot easier too--since I didn't have labor to recover from as well.  I arrived at Grant hospital an hour before my scheduled surgery, and due to an overflow situation, got sent to a relatively posh labor and delivery suite for my pre-op activities, instead of one of the tiny triage rooms.  We hung out there for about an hour and a half while I changed into a gown and got prepped for surgery.

After answering a lot of questions, getting an IV, and having visits from my OB and anesthesiologist, I was walked down to the operating room (not wheeled!) and got the the spinal block.  The anesthesiologist added a longer-lasting pain med as well called duramorph (sp?) which lasted for about 24 hours and eliminated the need for IV pain relief after the surgery.  From the time I walked into the OR until I had Leo in my arms was less than 20 minutes.

As comfortable as I felt with the idea of the C, and as excited as I was for Leo to arrive, I had about a dozen episodes of anxiety through all this that felt like I huge pressure and tightening of my chest.  I talked to the docs about it, and since they were constantly measuring my vitals, they knew that it wasn't actually physiological.  The episodes were scary to me, and I worried that they were an indicator of panic attacks to come, but I had the last of them during the surgery and have been fine since.

The best part about my experience this time around compared to last time, was that I was able to hold Leo right away.  As soon as he was cleaned up, I got to hold him skin-to-skin.  Before they even weighed him!  We left the OR with him on my chest and I was able to cuddle with him and nurse him right away.  I kept him with me for over an hour before JMT went with him to the nursery for a bath and to get checked out.  What a treat compared to the isolation I felt when Emma was born and I was relegated to a solitary recovery room with a bored nurse and no one else.

The next best part about this experience was having our families around.  JMT's folks were there for moral support before and after the surgery.  It was a huge relief to JMT, I think, to know there was someone there for him in case something went wrong.  It was great to have his folks hang out with me in recovery while he and Leo were in the nursery.  And it was wonderful to have both sets of our parents around to visit with us, bring food to the hospital, and shuttle Emma around.

My recovery this time around was better too.  I was up and walking around sooner, and braver about what I could and could not do sooner than last time.  It was a little rough at the 24 hour mark when the duramorph ran out, but once I got on a good schedule with my pain meds, I did fine while I was at the hospital.  And with only a few exceptions, I was fairly independent and mobile once I got home as well.

This maternity leave has been so different than my time at home with Emma.  For one, I'm more confident and settled in my routines and approaches to a variety of baby issues.  And also, I'm so much more busy!  Even though Emma spends her weekdays at daycare, it is still a lot of work managing the lives of two kids under 18 months old!  I've spent many hours nursing Leo and thinking about what I should write about this experience, but then I never get a chance to because who has time to write when you have two crazy babies?

Here He Is...

Leo Benjamin... born 3/24, 7 pounds, 8.8 oz., 20 inches long.

Happy, healthy and perfect.

The last night

Tonight is the last night of being a mother of one baby.  One beautiful, sweet, darling baby (who loves the cream filling from the donuts at DK Diner).  I've been excited for #2's arrival since we learned he'd be joining us.  But the sadness of saying goodbye to my singleton relationship with Emma has been growing steadily until now it overwhelms almost everything else.

I think that the main factor is that 16 months is a great age for a baby!  Emma is so fun to be with.  She is absorbing new ideas, synthesizing information at a speed I can hardly keep up with, and learning to make us laugh with her adorable sense of humor.  She has just begun to consistently call me mama (a word preceded by many... most notably "shoes").  She endears herself to me by calling out for me when she needs something.  While she lights up for daddy's dramatic arrival every evening, I'm the one she reaches for when something hurts or doesn't feel quite right.  It's as if finally my love for her is no longer unrequited.

So the steady uptick of pregnancy excitement has been paired with this sadness.  I know that I won't love my girl any less.  But I do know that there will be less of me available to her, at a time when she's just begun to articulate how much of me she wants in her life.  It makes me sad to know she will never remember these days where she was my one and only.  She will always know life as part of a pack, and will never remember when mommy's attentions were focused solely on her.  I know it's better that way... but it is sad to me.

***

So yeah, it's the last night.  We're having a scheduled C-section tomorrow.  When I found out I was pregnant with #2, I never really considered a VBAC.  Which is funny considering what a process it was to get over having a C with Emma.  As it turns out, like last time, this decision wouldn't have been mine to make in the end anyways.  As the weeks have progressed, my blood pressure's been a risin'.  To the point now that it's starting to effect other systems in my body.  The main concern at this point is my platelet count, which has been dropping over the past few weeks.  The doc moved up my C date after my last round of labs, so tomorrow is the day whether we like it or not!  March 24 will make a good birthday--easy to remember and fun to celebrate as it is the day after JMT's mom's birthday.

What we left

I'm starting to get wrapped up in the goings on here in Central Ohio, and that's a good thing. But before I forget--I'd like to take a moment to reflect on what we left behind. These photos may not be worth a thousand words to you, but they are to me.

Our perfect little house:

The view from our deck--and where I watched dozens of beautiful summer weddings:

I love you, little house in Manitou.

A good reason to move back to Ohio

Grandma time makes Emma happy!

Toothy

We’ve had a hard time capturing photos of Emma’s two resident toothes, but here they are, in all their pureed carrot glory:

Cycling bib courtesy of Aunt Sis.

Bathing Beauty

A few weeks ago, we kicked off the beginning of the Tour de France with a pool party. Emma sported her ultra-cute bathing suit and robe from Aunt Sis. She didn't know what to make of the water at first, but eventually splashed around a little and played with her ducky.

Tooth!

Thursday June 18th, the first chomper showed itself.  Here's a photo of her gummy grin before the teeth.  She'll never look like this again!

Sweet Potato

God bless the solid foods, for they lead to sleep-filled nights. 

For the past few days, Emma’s interest in purees has surpassed just gumming them around in her mouth, and now she ravenously gulps down one and two jars of fruits and veggies at a time, usually mixed with some rice or oatmeal cereal to add texture and iron.  The last few days have included monster feeding sessions, and the last two nights have included only one wake-up each.  It’s amazing how much better rested I feel when I only have to get up once in the night with the baby instead of three to four times!

Happy Mother's Day

I never would have guessed what a joy motherhood could be, or how lovely a quiet Mother’s Day planting in the garden and eating Italian take-out could be.  But oh, how it is a joy. 

 

How could it not be with a coy little girl like this in my arms?

 

Baby Steps

Life with the Emma is full of firsts. This weekend, while Aunt Sis was visiting, we experienced a few. Emma’s first wine-tasting (she stayed in the stroller, we tasted the wine), the Bumbo seat (photos to follow in a day or two) and Emma’s first drink from a big girl glass (above). She was adamant that we let her drink out of the cup! This was our first trip to a restaurant in which she got out of the stroller and interacted during the meal. We went to The Loop, where she chomped on a corn chip and a piece of carrot, and then washed it all down with some slurps from my water glass.

This one's for Rachel

This week I had my annual eye doctor appointment.  It was time to pick some new glasses.  There were so many cute ones... I couldn't make up my mind.  So I asked Rachel for some help, and she helped me pick the ones above--all via camera phone!  Thank you, Rachel!  I wish we got to spend more time together!

Here's another one

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Originally uploaded by Teals West

I just love her expression here.

Last one for today

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Originally uploaded by Teals West

This one is my wallpaper on my work PC. She has just cracked herself up over the lion roaring noise that she made when she pressed the button her right hand is on. We call her excersaucer her "office" and she likes to spend lots of time there "working".

And Receive Some More

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Originally uploaded by Teals West

Crazy Jungle play mat part 3.